I was in a restaurant recently and someone had written up on the menu/chalkboard: “New Year…Same Old Me!” I thought that was pretty funny…and it also made me wonder how true that statement really is, for that person and for all of us. It seems to me that, year by year, it may seem to us that we are, indeed the “same old me” but that, in reality, we have grown and changed in ways we might not realize. One reason, I believe, is our forward-focus. Our rushing to the next thing. Our need to check things off our list (2018? Done!) Our need to get a move on to what’s next (2019? Let’s go!)
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of “What’s Next?” I think I’ve even written a blog with that title! But before we get too caught up in resolutions, goals and aspirations for 2019, what if we took some time out to pause? What if we invested some time in reflecting on the past year and – wait for it – actually celebrated ourselves? I’m not talking about social media “look at me” type of self-celebration. I’m talking about personal, compassionate, reflective honoring of your “2018 You.”
A wise colleague, author and friend of mine, Robert Goldmann, sends out an annual letter at the end of each year about goal-setting and the year ahead. He always includes in these letters a process for celebrating the ending year. To be honest, in past years I have “fudged” on the 
celebration part, eager to move ahead into goals for the next year. Over time though, I’ve come to appreciate the value of celebration.
With Robert’s permission, here is a slightly edited excerpt from his process suggestions:
“Celebrating the year just past is beneficial by itself and will also help you think about 2019 in a more positive and expansive way. So, celebrate2018. Celebrate the positive in it. Even at the worst of times, we have much to be grateful for and to celebrate.
As you think about celebrating 2018, I’m inviting you to think about what you did in all the day-to-day situations you controlled, and how you reacted to things outside of your control. The only things that can reflect on you are what you did when you could control things and how you reacted when you couldn’t. If you will focus on what you did, how you reacted and coped, what initiatives, if any, you took, you will find much to celebrate and be proud of.
In that spirit, celebrate you in 2018 fully, graciously and gratefully. Take ample credit for the positive so you’re not unduly influenced by what was missing. In addition, be grateful for everything good that happened in 2018 whether you caused it or not. Do not let the things you didn’t like keep you from celebrating those things you feel good about. The cultivation of gratitude is one of the most powerful things one can do to create a feeling of well-being, fulfillment, and happiness.”
I’d like to highlight a couple of the points he makes:
- “Take ample credit for the positive so you’re not unduly influenced by what was missing.” In our culture, we tend to be so focused on what’s NOT working that we sometimes forget to focus on what IS working. We see what’s missing, but not what’s there.
- “Be grateful for everything good that happened in 2018 whether you caused it or not.” Cultivating gratitude for ALL of the good stuff, even if we aren’t responsible for that good being there, makes a huge difference. It helps us recognize the circumstances, people and events that enhance our lives. Here’s a prior blog with some additional information about the power of gratitude, if you need a reminder!
- “Do not let the things you didn’t like keep you from celebrating those things you feel good about.” What wisdom! Ever heard of the Reticular Activating System? This is the part of your brain that “tells” your mind where to focus. Like, when you’ve just bought a new red sports car and – seemingly suddenly – you see red sports cars everywhere. Did they suddenly appear? Nope…you’re just noticing them. So, when we focus on the things we don’t like, we see more of that. Focus on the things you feel good about and “magically,” more will appear. If you want to learn more about how this part of your brain operates, and how you can hone your focus, check out this article.
Meanwhile, back to the celebration! Continuing on with Robert’s procedure instructions, here’s what he suggests:
- Ask yourself: “What are you most proud of accomplishing in 2018?” Before you say, “I didn’t accomplish much of anything” stop to consider things like:
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- In the spirit of celebration, ponder questions like:
- How are you different now than you were in January 2018?
- What did you learn from this list of things you are proud of?
- How do you want to incorporate your learnings into 2019’s goals and resolutions?
- How does who you feel you are now compare with what you thought you’d be?
- What do you want to celebrate about 2018? ”
Here, I want to intervene with my own thoughts about how you then go about celebrating. It’s very valuable to write all this down and to learn from it. And, you can magnify that value by taking the time to actually “celebrate” it. While it might feel self-indulgent and maybe a little hokey, taking even a few minutes to truly celebrate last year is a great setup for this year, now.
Here are some ideas for celebrating:
- Share your successes – your list of what you’re proud of – with a friend. Toast each other with a cup of tea or glass of wine.
- Do something for yourself that you normally wouldn’t take the time to do. A friend of mine annually spends New Year’s Eve day at a local spa, getting a massage, having a nice lunch and reflecting on the year about to end. For you, it might be a long walk, a good book, or an evening out. What’s most important is that it’s time set aside for the strict purpose of celebration!
- Make something! Bake a cake. Create a collage. Draw a picture. Fix dinner for yourself. Do something generative and creative that’s meaningful and joyful for you. Something I still have on my desk, after making it years ago, is a rock I painted in celebration of ending a particular period of my life. Every time I look at it – almost 10 years later – I have a strong sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
Want some more ideas? Check out this blog with a list of 30 ways to celebrate accomplishments.
Whatever you decide to do, do it! And, let me know what you celebrate and how. I’d love to hear from you!
PS: If you want to learn more about Robert and his really amazing new book, Act From Choice, here’s some information about him and the book.
“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” Tom Peters