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About this time each year, I start thinking about what the last twelve months has been about and what it might mean for my goals and aspirations for the next year. Recently, I went through an exercise that was especially helpful in looking back over the past year that I’d like to share with you. Going through this activity with the help of a good coach, led to a greater appreciation for all the year brought – both the good and the challenging – and helped me see things differently. You might want to try something similar to identify your “what worked” and “what didn’t work” aspects of 2018. With this information, you can then begin to visualize and plan for a meaningful and fulfilling 2019. Here’s the exercise.

To begin, give some thought to what your guiding principle or “center” has been for the year.

For some, it’s about centering around values, as described in this prior blog entry.

For others, it might be a personal mission or purpose statement. If you don’t have one and want to generate one, here’s an interesting article that might help.

Or, if you don’t feel especially attached to values, don’t have a personal mission or purpose statement, and don’t feel called to create one right now, that’s okay! Instead, just jot down a few quick statements about what is most important and meaningful to you at this point in life. Use prompts related to how you aspire to BE, what you most like or want to DO, and what things or experiences you would like to HAVE. For example:

Next, choose some categories of how you spend your time. If you did the Pie of Life exercise earlier this year, you probably already have those categories waiting. If not, here is that blog entry. Working from your list of ways-you-spend-your-time (or making up some new ones), choose 4 – 6 categories that you want to work with. For me, the categories I used were:

• Work
• Giving back
• Movement
• Trips
• Development
• Spiritual

Of course, you can use any categories you want.

Third, take some time to go back over your calendar to review (and remember!) all the things you did this past year – all the ways you spent your time. As you look back over your activities, begin to list those that stand out to you as most significant, by category. Of course, you’re not going to list EVERYTHING you did, so use your judgment about what makes the cut. For me, I ended up with a list of about 30 things – just enough to fit onto a single typed page. For you, it might be 10 or 15 items…or 50. That’s totally up to you.

Organize those activities by category, in order to begin to build a matrix. At this point, it would look something like this:

It’s probably most useful if you have at least 3 items per category. If you don’t, that might be useful information in itself!

Next, after you’ve let this list sit for a day or two, then added or changed any of the activities or categories, take a look at all the ways you’ve been spending your time., Compare this to your values, purpose mission statement or BE/DO/HAVE statements. Then, give each activity a “grade” or a rating, (on a scale of 1 – 5 or 1 – 10). Again, you get to choose!

For example: I might look at the “XYZ Project” at work against my BE/DO/HAVE statements and discover that, while that project helped me to get “more money in the bank” it also led to overwork and less free time. So, I might give that a 5 out of 10 rating or a C+ if I’m grading.

Do this for all the activities on your list.

Then, let all of this sit for another day or two. If you’re lucky enough to have a good friend, coach, discussion partner or colleague who’s interested in this sort of thing, it’s a great idea to discuss your list and your observations about it with another person. If you can’t, or don’t want to review it with someone else, review it with yourself. Notice things like:

• Overall, what stands out to me?
• What do I want to celebrate about this list? (We often jump straight to “what do I need to change?” before pausing and noting what really worked for us. So, take the time to do that! Here’s an article explaining why this is so important: https://www.inc.com/bill-carmody/3-reasons-celebrating-your-many-accomplishments-is-critical-to-your-success.html)
• Which categories scored the highest? Why?
• What particular activities are at the top of my list? Why?
• What can I do to maintain these “top of the list” items and/or create more of them?
• Which categories scored the lowest? Why?
• What particular activities are at the bottom of my list? Why?
• What can I do to eliminate, minimize or mitigate these “bottom of the list” items?

For me, going through this process helped me recognize the things that “fit” my personal purpose statement most fully and enabled me to identify what changes I might make to create closer alignment. It also helped me see which things I’ve spent time on that are out of alignment that I can move toward minimizing. It also gave me a stronger sense of what to say “yes” to as we move into 2019.

So…give it a go! And, while you’re going through this process, keep it light and simple – not too serious or dramatic. One way to maintain a light, nonjudgmental touch on our year review is to summarize what you learn as simply as possible, perhaps through a “Six Word Story.” My reflection on the year, in six words, would be, “Let’s do this again next year!” I’d love to hear yours!

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.
T.S. Eliot

I’m a big fan of the Blue Zones and often read about the work of longevity expert, Dan Buettner. A “Blue Zone” is a region in the world where people live the longest. Through the Blue Zones work, Buettner and his colleagues have defined what they call the Power 9 ™ which outlines the 9 characteristics or “lessons” they discovered in these regions. They are:

• Move naturally
• Purpose
• Downshift
• 80% Rule
• Plant Slant
• Wine at 5
• Belong
• Loved Ones First
• Right Tribe

If you want to learn more about Power 9 ™, here is a good overview.

In my work with people in transition, I’ve found that discovering (or re-discovering) 2) and 7) – “purpose” and “belong” are critical questions that come into play when faced with major change. People in transition are often asking questions like:

• Why am I here?
• What am I being called to do?
• Where do I belong?
• What purpose am I fulfilling?

One of the original Blue Zones is Okinawa, Japan, where they have a concept called “ikigai.” Ikigai can roughly be translated as a sense of purpose or reason for getting up in the morning. The Japanese symbol for ikigai combines the symbols for “to be worthwhile” and “life.” So, in essence, ikigai is the sense that we are living a life that is worthwhile, that gives us a sense of purpose.

There’s a ton of information out there about how to find your purpose. In my experience, however, except for the small percentage of people who feel that they were born knowing their purpose, it can be difficult to access. Buettner had some straightforward, simple advice for defining purpose that I’d like to pass on to you, with a little color commentary of my own. He suggested:

• Get a piece of paper and divide it into three columns, label those columns like this:

• Make a LONG list of everything you can think of that goes into those columns. Don’t filter or think through the things on your list too deeply – just write down what comes to mind and keep writing. You can sort-and-sift later if you need to.
• After you have exhausted all thoughts and ideas about what goes into each column, look at where they intersect. That intersection is your ikigai, your purpose!
• Look at your life. Do you have an outlet for expressing your ikigai?
• Adjust your life (hah…easier said than done!) so that you have that outlet, as needed. Rinse and repeat!

Notice that he doesn’t link this sense of purpose to gainful employment, necessarily. His advice is to ensure that we have an outlet for that thing that motivates us to get out of bed each morning. That outlet might be a hobby, volunteer work, creative endeavors, time spent with special people in your life…or a variety of other things.

I’m not sure how I feel about this relationship (or lack thereof) between purpose and work, given how much time most of us spend working. Wouldn’t it be great if we could express our ikigai and get paid for it? Toward that end, I’ve discovered some other articles that suggest adding to those initial three columns so that you also consider:

• What the world needs, and
• What you can get paid for

This Thrive Global article points out some interesting dynamics with each of these:

So, it’s the intersection that matters. How can we find it? I wish there was an easy answer! For many of us, getting closer to our ikigai depends on three keys:

• Our willingness to ask these questions and to explore the answers
• Our courage to recognize and face what we discover, head on…and do something about it
• Our creativity in finding ways to bring purpose into our lives, while still paying the bills and feeding the kids (or dogs or ourselves!)

So…I wish for you willingness, courage and creativity!

I recently observed a woman demonstrating willingness, courage and creativity (and perhaps her ikigai?) at – of all places – a dance event. I was admiring a woman dancing at a ballroom dance competition, mostly because she had stunning silver hair! She moved gracefully, had a huge smile on her face and seemed to be having the time of her life. I felt inspired and motivated as my turn to take to the dance floor came up. Later, I learned a few things about this silver-haired, inspirational dancer:

1. She had finished chemotherapy just 5 weeks before, being treated for breast cancer;
2. Her beautiful silver hair was actually a wig (see a) above!);
3. She is 80 years old!

I don’t know what she would say her ikigai is, but she exuded purposefulness, demonstrating wiliness, courage and creativity. It was a reminder to me that we really can do whatever we set our minds to, if we can find the willingness, gather our courage and get creative.

What’s your ikigai? How do you demonstrate it every day? (Or at least a couple of times a week?) Let’s discuss!

“Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard W. Thurman

PS: And here’s a TED talk of Dan Buettner talking about how to live to be 100!

We often hear a lot about “managing change” in our professional lives and have likely been involved in change management workshops and training. Generally, we’re exposed to a model that makes points something like:

• Change is challenging
• Some people embrace it right away, some people take a little time to get on board, some people never come along
• During times of intense change, productivity decreases (while anxiety increases) but – after a period of time – things get back to normal (whatever that is…)
• In managing through change, we go through a series of emotions, not unlike the seven stages of grief, during which we may be alternately excited, angry, depressed, optimistic, resistant and accepting
• It’s all normal!

Often, these models look at change like an inverted bell curve that basically says:

• First, everything is good
• Then, things get dicey
• Finally, things are good again!

Of course, I’m over-simplifying these ideas and models! There is really a lot of wisdom in this approach to learning about and dealing with change.

In my work with people in transition though, we generally talk about change – and about “productivity” in a different way. A way in which we see various transitions as seasons through which we travel (and jump back and forth between) at various times, in relation to different areas of our lives. Seeing change this way helps us (I think) better relate to where we are and approach transitions with less-judgment, and more acceptance. Here’s’ how that approach to transition works, seeing change as an evolution through the seasons.

When we are in “Spring” we are in Exploration mode – this is a time for interest, enthusiasm, possibility and great excitement…maybe with a little trepidation and fear of the unknown thrown in. We are thinking about and looking into “what’s next” for us and open to the many possibilities. In relation to career, this may be when we are looking for a new role, thinking about career possibilities, looking into what might be “blooming” next on the horizon. We can facilitate our movement through this stage of change by asking questions like:

• What do I want to explore?
• What impact do I want to have?
• What news skills or interests might I develop next?

When we are in a phase of exploration, we might define productivity by the things we are learning, the contacts we are making and the ideas we are generating.

Moving on from Spring, we move into “Summer”. Summer is a time for commitment. It’s when we have explored adequately to begin to make some decisions about what we want. What job, what hobby, what partner, where we want to live, and a variety of other commitments we make throughout our lives. Summer is a time for achievement, seeking fulfillment and really earning our way into and through whatever we are doing. We are active; we are engaged – the sun is shining! For many of us, we have spent long periods of our lives – in careers, in relationships, as parents – in Summer. To make the most of our Summers, we can ask ourselves questions like:

• Where am I experiencing the most flow and satisfaction?
• Where do I get the energy to pursue my goals?
• How is how I spend my time contributing to – myself, my family, my community, etc.?

When we are in the commitment phase, we likely define productivity by what we are achieving, recognition we are gaining and goals we are realizing.

At some point, all good things come to an end and our Summer starts to fade into “Fall.” Endings come naturally (like when the kids leave home or retirement looms) and others come unexpectedly (like the loss of a job, loved one or health status). The shadows are falling on a period of growth and achievement and we begin to let go, completing what has come before. During the “Falls” of our lives, we turn more inward and begin to disconnect. As we are completing the Summer we’ve just experienced (which may have lasted for years or even decades) we can make the most of this by asking ourselves questions like:

• What was most significant to me about what is ending?
• What do I want to take forward from that experience? Leave behind?
• What have I learned that is of value for me?

When we are letting go and completing, feeling “productive,” in the traditional sense of the word, can be difficult. Here, the value lies in what we learn, integrate and process.

Next, we tend to move into a period of “Winter,” a time of questioning and releasing. Like the Fall, this stage is also very internal and introspective. It’s a time to step back to take time and space to reflect on what has just ended. There may be grief and there may be celebration. It’s a time for fully experiencing the transition we are undergoing, in preparation for what may lie ahead…our next Spring. During our “Winters” we want to ask ourselves questions like:

• Where and how can I step out/step back to process what has transpired?
• What current commitments can I reduce or release?
• What can I celebrate? What do I want/need to grieve?

Like the season that precedes Winter, it’s often challenging to recognize what’s productive about this season. In this season of questioning and releasing, what we gain is self-recognition, an awareness of a greater meaning and appreciation.

For many of us, the more internal seasons of Fall and Winter are challenging. Our culture tends to celebrate extroversion, achievement and being “out there” with and for others. This can make it difficult to move inward and spend the quiet time we really need to process and integrate the endings of our lives. When we do however, there is much richness and wisdom. We have so much to learn from ourselves by detaching, pondering and assigning meaning, before we venture out into the world again.

Lest you think I’m suggesting a solo pilgrimage or lengthy retreat (although those things would be cool!), here are some suggestions for finding internal “me time” as you move out of Summer into the Fall and Winter seasons of your life:

• Set aside time each day for journaling and reflection – even if you are still actively involved in a job, hobby, child-rearing or whatever “Summer” you’re in the midst of (or just ending), these mini-breaks of detachment and reflection can support forward movement
• Use the weekends (or part of each weekend?) as Fall and Winter breaks. Writing, mindful movement such as yoga or dance, discussion with a close loved one or friend – these can all be ways to do the letting go of Fall and the celebrating and grieving of Winter
• Get a change of scenery. Taking a drive, a bike ride or a walk in a new place can provide a new kind of “space” for mindfulness. In coaching groups, I often give the assignment to go to an unfamiliar place, pose a question to yourself and then just walk. Upon return, write down words, images, phrases and ideas that arose. You’ll be amazed at what comes up!

Whatever season you’re in…enjoy it! This, of course, is easier said than done – especially when circumstances have placed us in a season we’re really not interested in or ready for! My hope is that, seeing your life and its transitions as “seasonal” will make those transitions smoother and more productive – however you define that – for you. Good luck!

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
― Albert Camus

Let me know if either of these graphs work (right or left) I LIKE THE ONE ON THE RIGHT, THANKS!

Over the last few weeks, we’ve been talking about the five elements of wellness:

1. Career Well-Being: finding meaning and fulfillment in the time and energy you expend for pay
2. Social Well-Being: enjoying strong, positive and supportive relationships
3. Financial Well-Being: having balanced, adequate financial resources
4. Physical Well-Being:  health!
5. Community Well-Being: experiencing a sense of engagement with your community

Last time, we talked about career well-being and how people on the cusp of major transition (into a new job, ending full time work, making a career change) sometimes notice that they are out of alignment. They often recognize compromises they’ve made to ensure financial security. These compromises sometimes negatively impact their physical, community and social well-being. In other words, they may or may not be satisfied with their work life…in service of finances.

I suggested that a good first step is to assess your work/life situation, to identify what’s working and what’s not working with things now. To do that, I offered some free online assessments and a list of questions. All of this is to help you really understand your level of satisfaction with your work/life right now. If you’d like to review that entry, here it is.

Depending on what you’ve learned after this work/life look-see, you may be excited about trying something new…or you may be wondering if you can make any change at all. This is where taking a similar “as objective as possible” look at your financial situation can help. That is…what is your level of financial well-being? Here are some ideas to help you do that.

First, if you didn’t complete the Auerbach Well-Being Satisfaction Scale before, do it now or at least rate yourself in the following way:

On a scale of 1 (low) to 7(high), I would rate my financial well-being today at: ___________.

On a scale of 1 (low) to 7 (high), my target level of financial well-being is: ______________.

So, let’s say you rated today at “3” and your target is “6.” The next questions are:

• “What would my target level (in this case, a ‘6’) look like?” This question helps us get objective about our desired state. Here you can define things like:
• How much money you would have in savings
• How much debt you would carry/not carry
• How much retirement income you would have available

With this question, you create a picture of what your desired state of financial well-being looks and feels like, so you know what you are aiming toward. For many people, this is difficult to do, because “enough” is difficult to define…and a sense of security feels nearly unattainable.

There is a great chapter on this topic in The Encore Career Handbook called, “Finding Your Encore Number.” In this chapter, the author, Marci Alboher, suggests managing what’s “enough” for you by defining:

• Three must-haves: things you need and cannot possibly give up
• Three like-to-haves: things you would like to do or have, but that you could do without
• Three can give-ups: things you currently spend money on, but could let go

If you’re struggling with the question of what’s “enough,” I highly recommend her book, or at least this chapter, to help you get some ideas about how to define that. In addition, she offers a lot of good ideas about generating income in different ways – through tax breaks, school loans, grants and scholarships. If you’re planning on a career change especially, many of these may be available to you.

• “In what ways are my habits around money (spending, saving, debt, etc.) in alignment with my values?”  If you haven’t done any recent work on defining your core values, this blog offers some suggestions for analyzing and choosing your values, at this point in your life. Once you have those in place, you can then look at how your values and habits align and support each other, or not!

For example…you may discover that your core values are peace and compassion. And, you recognize that you’re carrying an amount of debt that leads to anxiety and self-judgement – so, lack of inner peace and compassion for yourself.

With this information, you can decide what change you might want to make to align your values more closely with your habits.

Here’s an interesting note if you’re debating about the relative value of clearing up debt versus saving more money. Studies show that getting rid of debt has a larger impact on our happiness than saving does. (Not that you shouldn’t do both!) So, if you have to make a choice between the two – and your goal is greater well-being – it’s more important to get rid of debt than to build savings.

• “What is one change I can make to bring myself closer to my target state (in this case, bring that ‘3’ to a ‘4?’”) Here, you define one or two small things you can do to move you toward that desired “6.” Why such a small step, you ask? Well, when we notice something isn’t how we’d like it to be, we often resort to grand plans, in a valiant attempt to remedy the situation. The problem is…we often set ourselves up for disappointment, if not failure! So, instead, we will take this in baby steps! Then, as we have small successes, we can then take on more (and perhaps bigger) changes to bring us closer to our goal.

There is, of course, much more to say about financial well-being, but this should get you started on the road toward defining what your own financial well-being looks like…and how to get there. This information, along with your look at your career well-being, can help you make some new and different choices to find more balance and alignment…and greater well-being.

For more information and insights into financial well-being, here are three books you might want to check out:

Well-Being – The Five Essential Elements

The Total Money Makeover

The Soul of Money

“Money often costs too much.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson